Dear jstewartsintern (https://www.deviantart.com/jstewartsintern)
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our socks don't match. I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter under the bus and I saw you hit on your "My Little Pony" collection. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your toe ring but keeping your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of your feet and that you should get that embarrassing rash checked out.
Your everlasting enemy,
Porcupine-Pen (https://www.deviantart.com/porcupine-pen)
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Dear (person of your choice,)
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when